Goals and Growth

September is often, for youth and adults the same, a time where concepts of newness become focal. The new school year, for many, translates into a time of reflection about where we have been in our life and where we may be trying to go in our future. Kids in school are thinking about course selection and future schooling, new friend groups and activities. As a parent, I find that reflects in my own thinking and life planning and so wanted to write something on change.

To change quite simply means to do something different from what we have been doing. If someone wants to make changes in an aspect of their life - a habit, a behaviour, a hobby, an emotional response - they have to have a sense of what it is they want things to look like. I use a GPS analogy with clients: You need to know where you want to be in order to map your route to get there. If you are looking for change and growth this fall - think about what it is you want to be in one aspect of your life. I gave a few examples above but it can apply to anything. What hobby do you want to take up or what habit do you want to change? Get clear about what you and your life would be like AFTER the change has occurred. Spend some time with that visualization and write down some of the thoughts and feelings you have when you are living in that new experience. 

Now that you are clear on the goal, write a list of steps or actions you can take that help you move toward that end state. Maybe that means clearing your schedule at a time of the week to allow for a new hobby as a first step. Maybe it means taking a lesson or signing up for a course. Maybe it means getting support for a behaviour that you no longer want to engage in. 

Making small actionable steps may not get you to the end goal you desire right away but it is creating a life that is unstuck and evolving in that direction. 

Lastly, consider any opposition your mind may have to the idea of this "newness". Write down all these resisting thoughts / beliefs and take time to work through if any of them are actually valid and serving you. If they are not, set them aside and if they need to be addressed (ie a schedule conflict) but steps in place to make things manageable. 

If making changes alone feels overwhelming or unmanageable, seek out some support as change is possible.